they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Randomize
