no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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