Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
