We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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