i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i will never coherently bang her
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
