I'm really into asian looking animals
from now on my penis is your penis
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
