she smelled like a LAN party
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
