I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
