hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
operation harelip BJ is a go
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
