also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
