Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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