After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
