That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
