Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
