Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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