you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
