about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
