brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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