hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
