This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
