She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
