I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
