There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
