Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
