ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
