Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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