I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize