He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
