You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
