In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
