Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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