just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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