I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
