Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
