you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
