Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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