Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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