I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
