i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize