God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
