Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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