I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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