You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
