i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
