All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
