I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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