and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
