i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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