Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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