ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
