Little spoons don't ask big questions
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
