dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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