apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize