you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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