i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
