Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
