My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
