he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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