Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
