Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
