just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
