I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just want nice things and good sex
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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