Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she looked like the before picture.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
