We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
