I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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